The Next Step.
"I'm entering a new chapter.
Not because I have everything figured out,
but because I feel it's time.
There's a quiet, steady voice inside nudging me forward,
a voice I've learned to trust.
This isn't about starting over.
It's about continuing --
with more clarity, more peace, and a deeper sense of purpose.
It's the next step I'm being guided to take.
I may not know exactly where it's leading,
but I know I'm meant to be here.
And that is enough for now."
- CM
Five years ago, I stood at the edge of something I never anticipated — something I didn’t ask for, yet was suddenly compelled to live.
I was navigating the crushing weight of profound grief, mourning the unimaginable loss of one of my children, when my physical health began to deteriorate rapidly. What started as a sort of quiet exhaustion and unexplainable symptoms escalated into a life-threatening condition. I was losing weight at a frightening pace — around a pound to a pound and a half a day (without trying to lose any weight), and without an explanation. My body felt as though it was slipping away, and my spirit…well, it was preparing for the possibility of transitioning to the next realm. I even began making peace with the idea of being reunited with my son in the afterlife.
It was during this harrowing chapter of my life that I received an intervention that ultimately sustained my life. Furthermore, I was supposed to be on 4 medications — indefinitely, but that experience led me to make some changes which led to my not having to go that route. I began to look inward and ask myself the difficult questions. Questions like “What is the root cause of what was happening to my body? What was I feeding myself — physically? emotionally? spiritually? And more important what would it mean to truly listen to my body, mind, heart and soul to find the answers?
I made a vow to honor the vessel that I was given. I nourish my body with clean, whole foods, and choose to get the majority of my vitamins and minerals from those foods rather than relying on supplements, powders or pills. There is something more trustworthy to me about nutrients in their natural form — grown, not manufactured. I don’t subscribe to extreme diets because I believe that extremes are often more harmful than not. So, instead, I practice mindful eating — which is a return to how I used to eat as a child and young adult, before life became busier with juggling work, marriage and raising three children, going back to school to earn my degree and giving back to my communities by volunteering. Rediscovering this simple, intuitive way of nourishing myself has been quite refreshing. It is a beautiful, gentle and grounding reset of sorts.
Movement is also now a big part of my daily rhythm. Not as punishment or obligation, but as an act of love. Pure, unabashed, self-love. I continue to walk every day. I practice yoga, tending to my body, my breath and my inner stillness. Once a week, I strength train, practice Barre, and do aerobics to keep my cardiovascular system, muscles and bones strong, ( which is important for women my age). I hike, bike and play tennis as often as possible, and I have participated in a 5k every year for the past 7 years. But, my favorite thing to do from time to time is to dance freely, and joyfully around the house.
Those dancing moments are so sacred to me because they are an ode to the child that I lost. He and I had a love of dance in common, (him joining dance groups in his teen years, and me taking dance classes when I was younger — and missing it), and whenever I dance nowadays, I like to think that when I move to the the rhythm of joy down here on this earthly plane, it connects me to him up there in heaven and I want to believe that he sees me still dancing, (sometimes doing the moves that he taught me, and other times doing the old moves that I used to teach him), and I hope that he knows that I haven’t forgotten our steps together.
Another way that I have dedicated myself to improving my health and wellness is that I have also simplified my skincare by letting go of harsh prescription products like Retin-A and choosing natural, plant conscious ingredients instead. I’m trying my best to be intentional about everything that I put in and on my body, because I know that true wellness and well-being is a full-circle experience. It is physical. It is mental. It is spiritual. It is holistic.
Outside of my body, I care for my mind, heart and soul by meditating daily. This is the part of yoga that keeps me rooted through the uncertainties of life — in addition to the certainties. I have woven together a daily regimen of asana practice, meditation, pranayama and ayurvedic inspired routines that helps to keep my entire being sustained. It is a way of living that I can adhere to for the remainder of my life, no matter what I may be faced with. It has definitely already helped me survive the unimaginable –and thrive in the aftermath.
This journey has not been perfect or without struggle, but it has been a daily choice. Intention is very much at the heart of my experience. A soft persistence, and a sacred resistance of everything that tried to break me. Yes, my loss broke me, but I have also been rebuilt. Rebuilt with the raw materials of courage, strength, hope, memory, spirituality, and an unshakable will to move forward with a life that still holds beauty. That grief, I still make space for because it was such a wonderful guide that taught me how to live differently and with more reverence. I just don’t grasp it as tightly as I once did.
I now wake with even more gratitude for the little things. Move with more joy. Live and eat with more intention. Simple moments of sunlight coming through my window at just the right angle as I sip my tea, the sound of laughter in my home, and birdsong in my backyard while I water my garden are some of the most simple, but special moments that I truly adore.
Today, my body tells a different story than it did 5 years ago. My weight is balanced, my vitals are good, and at my last appointment my medical team smiled and said, ” Keep doing what you’re doing.” (They didn’t have to tell me twice). I’m not trying to be perfect, because perfection is an illusion. I’m just trying to take care of this gift that Source (God) gave me – and right now, I feel good, I feel strong, I feel centered. I feel more like myself again, and I think that’s important when Source has already let me know that I still have work to do here– at least for a little while longer.
Thanks for reading.
Until the next time.
Take care and be well,
— Carol
Life is generally good, right? I think that most people would agree that life, even with it’s disappointments, is okay. In fact, more often than not, it can be pretty amazing.
Today might be filled with happiness, joy and excitement; while tomorrow “could” bring sadness or pain – and that’s okay. It’s okay because living isn’t about having everything work out for the best all of the time, as much as it’s about being able to make it through the rough times; and to do so with a healthy mind frame and not allowing our disappointments to define us.
We expect too much sometimes, I think. We also tend to become complacent in our ability to not let our egos get the best of us. It’s easy to believe that things will always be the way that they are – especially when things are going great. Of course, this may not be true for everyone.
Well, 2020 should have taught us a thing or two. It should have reminded us of our lack of control. The control that we tend to thing that we have, when truthfully any semblance of control that we thing we have is actually quite minor.
We should always be open to “other” possibilities. Why? Because that is what helps us transition better when thing do not go our way. At any time, even the healthiest person can suddenly become chronically ill. Or, that well-to-do friend of yours that you thought was so blessed and fortunate can suddenly lose everything. Or that job that you thought that you would retire with could suddenly go out of business.
When disappointments happen they can leave us feeling sad, angry or regretful that we couldn’t have done more to prevent whatever happened from happening. The key though is not to ruminate over disappointments when they occur. As difficult as that might be – just don’t do it. Please don’t do it, unless you’re looking for more disappointment.
We have to be willing to accept the life that we have been given, regardless of whether or not we approve of the outcome. You have to just keep moving forward.
Now, there may be disappointing situations that call for you to contest or dispute, because there are many things in life that we must fight for – but I am not talking about those type of disappointments. I am talking about the ones that we absolutely cannot control.
When life throws a little disappointment your way you don’t have to forget what happened, (you need to remember as that will be connected to your personal growth), but you do have to learn to accept life’s disappointments.
Once you learn to that, then you can conquer anything. When faced with something disappointing I like to remember the phrase “God doesn’t give us anything that we cannot handle.” It always helps me to keep things in perspective. So, if you’re experiencing something less than favorable and you feel that the sky has fallen – try remembering that phrase and see how that works for you. Also, stay strong, keep the faith and know in your heart and soul that all will be well in the end. All you have to do is learn to accept whatever is making you feel that way or, if you are able to change the situation – change it. All else is madness and who wants that?
Thank you for reading.
Until the next post.
Take care and be well.
Happy 2021! I hope you are well. My goodness! It has been a few months since my last post and I have missed Salubrity and Soul, all the tasks that come with blogging and… you! If I could have avoided my absence I surely would have done just that, please know that it was justifiable. Without over-sharing, let’s just say that I needed to take some time off to care for myself, spend time with my family and recuperate from the year that was 2020. Truthfully, my decision to take a break from Salubrity and Soul, (and other things as well), was highly influenced by my physician. I had to either eliminate or reduce anything that I was doing in my life that could induce stress or that contributed to a sedentary lifestyle. Unfortunately for me, blogging happened to be in that category. Now I am moving into the second quarter of this year cautiously, carefully, but fervently.
“A candle that has been blown out provides no light. Let selfcare be your fuel, and watch yourself glow brightly again once the flame has been re-lit.
– Salubrity + Soul
I must say, it feels good to be heading into the new year with a sense of calm, peacefulness, hope and healing.
I’ll close with a few words that reflect something that crossed my mind several times over during the last four months, which is that we always have a choice in the way that we decide to frame our personal narrative when faced with something unexpected. Moreover, we always have a choice when it comes to our view of how good or bad things really are; and whether or not we want to accept some responsibility in whatever it is that we’re experiencing.
We can grab the reigns of our life, hold on tight, and be the heroine, (or hero), but the choice is always only ours. In order to overcome anything, the decision to keep showing up over and over again is what is most important.
I want to remind anyone who may be experiencing a rough time and who may be feeling as though they need a break that it is okay to rest. It’s okay to go where you’ll find peace and the opportunity to restore your energy and health because that is exactly what you’ll need to remain in your power. Think balance. You don’t have to completely stop what you’re doing, because we should always be moving in ways that empower us in good ways, and that allow us to function and be the very best version of ourselves as much as possible – unabashedly. But, never forget to care for yourself. Nothing is more important than you. Nothing. Remember that.
Thanks for reading.
Until the next post.
Take care and be well.
Blessings.
– Carol
My yoga journey began in 2013. It started with an exercise video that included several ashtanga based yoga sequences that were designed to build strength and increase flexibility. I truly enjoyed those yoga sequences, and remember performing them with so much ease. Later, I attended classes at a yoga studio and at a fitness center. My interest in yoga eventually waned with each passing year, and I began pursuing other interests; such as hiking. I know now, in retrospect, that those ashtanga asanas weren’t designed for anyone just beginning a yoga practice. So, when I look back at that time I feel extremely fortunate for that experience.
It wasn’t until the end 2019 that I would rediscover yoga, and learn that I didn’t know as much about it as I thought I did. Never, in a million years did I ever expect to be as intrigued with yoga as I am today; after making the decision to pick it up again and deepen my practice. My decision to do so arose from my intent to find a way to manage the grief that I was feeling after losing my son. That led me to begin taking courses that would help me learn about the foundations and fundamentals of yoga . It turns out that was one of the best decisions that I have ever made for myself.
There was a time when I once thought that yoga only consisted of performing complex asanas (poses), maintaining a “certain look”, or living a specific way. For some, it may be just that, but that is not all that it is. Yoga is so much more.
Besides asanas (poses), yoga is also comprised of meditation and pranayama (breathing). In fact, the word yoga means “to yoke” or join together in Sanskrit. Moreover, according to Pantanjali, the father of yoga, it is about mastering the stillness of the mind, understanding the nature of reality and the true nature of self.
The asanas (poses) are actually just one part of what makes yoga… well…yoga. They are the part that assists in the creation of strength, flexibility and balance. The other components of yoga are related to mental focus, personal and spiritual ethics, and using the breath as a life force. All of which, once practiced daily help increase resilience, compassion and a connection to your higher self and source.
A lot has changed for me personally since 2013 including my levels of physical activity and flexibility. But thankfully, yoga is very forgiving. It doesn’t demand perfection. It only asks that you continue to show up on your mat daily, and when you do show up, that you meet yourself wherever you are, and create space for where you are trying to go. I love that so much.
Thank you for reading.
Until the next post..
Please take care.
References:
Satchidananda, Swami, Sri. (2018). The Yoga Sutras of Pantanjali . Integral Yoga Publications.
Easwaran, Eknath. (2007). The Bhagavad Gita. Nilgiri Press.
Good Monday to you!
This one is for pet owners.
It’s also for anyone who can’t understand why people grieve the loss of their pets.
We lost our family pet during the first week of January. He was the sweetest, funniest (yes, pets can make you laugh hysterically), “little ham” ever – and a big part of our lives. When you’ve had a pet for 14 years they tend to grow on you and their loss can really “sting”.
Whoever said, “Pets are like Family” obviously owned, cared for and loved one themselves, because they sure knew what they were talking about. We found our little guy , a chihuahua mix, at a local pet store — but he was a shelter dog. One that if not for our youngest child, ( our son who passed away), asking us repeatedly to get a dog, we would not have had. Which would’ve meant that we would have missed out on some very special moments.
Just as with the family members and friends that we have lost, we have memories in the form of photos; but there also the stories. Oh, how I love the stories.
They remind us of the reason why “he” had to be the one to come home with us and become a part of our family.
It hurt having to say goodbye to him forever, not just because we loved him, but because having him around after losing our son allowed us to still have a little bit of our son around.
If you think about it… our pets lives are very much like that of the life that we have with our children, or anyone else that we may be taking care of on a daily basis. Their lives become intertwined with ours as we wake each day, on time, to ensure that they are fed.
We play with them, talk to them (yes, I said “talk” to them), we socialize them with other pets at pet establishments or dog parks; and sometimes we even set up play dates for them. We take them to the veterinarian to keep them healthy, or when they become ill.
Many pet owners, like myself, watch what our pets eat to ensure that they are eating foods that will benefit their health needs and keep their bodies strong.
We make sure that they exercise – usually with a nice walk, and it’s not unusual to hear a “pet-parent” talk about how their pet is often their source of motivation to get off the couch and to get a little exercise.
It’s no wonder that pet owners are considered healthier than non-pet owners, (even though recent research concludes that there is not enough evidence to support that belief). Yet, as a life-long pet owner I believe in the benefits and positive effects of pet ownership; and I challenge you to become a pet owner and judge for yourself!
Our pets keep us going and moving through life, while also adding positively to our livelihood. But, it’s their unconditional love that we probably benefit from the most. As that part of pet ownership has been shown to support emotional health and well-being.
I am sure that every pet owner will agree that there is nothing like the warm welcome and excitement that your pet shows when you walk through the door after being gone for a while.
Here is the thing… A loss is a loss. It doesn’t matter if it is a family member, friend or pet. It’s about how those we lost had an affect on our lives, and how much we will forever miss them.
So remember this the next time that someone thinks you are being dramatic because your pet died and you are grieving their loss; and keep grieving until you feel better. It’s not your fault that they don’t understand. Nor is it your responsibility to make them understand. But, feel free to send them a link to this post in hopes that they may one day learn to understand that pet loss is just as realistic and significant as human loss.
Thank you for reading!
Until the next post…
With love.
Take care,
xo
Hello friends! Well, we’ve officially entered a new decade…and a new year! Happy New Year!
I have not posted in while because I decided to spend time with and focus solely on family this past holiday season. So, since I wasn’t able to wish you a Merry Christmas, I’ll do so now… Merry (belated) Christmas to you and yours! I hope that you had a wonderful holiday season!
We are 6 days into the new year and I have to say…I feel a slight sense of relief that the holidays have ended. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the holidays, but there has to be at least one person reading this that can agree with me that the holidays, as great as they can be, can also be very, very tiresome. So, it feels quite good to feel a bit of relief from all of the excitement that comes with that time of the year. Now we just have 11 more months to go until we get to create more special memories with those we hold dear once again. That is always definitely something to look forward to. Those cherished moments are the best!
Many of us are returning to work and/or school this week as we ease back into our schedules and personal versions of “the familiar” and the “the everyday.” I for one am looking forward to “getting back into the groove of things”.
2019 was a transformative year for me personally and for Salubrity and Soul. With my having begun a new wellness journey, and the rebranding of Salubrity and Soul, I am very excited about the road ahead!
So stay tuned if you’d like to see what I’ve been up to over the last several months because over the next few weeks I will be picking up where I left off, and delving deeper into the process of sharing my discoveries through a series of daily, weekly and monthly posts.
Before I end this post I have to inform you that there are no words that can fully express the gratitude that I feel towards you- my followers- thank you so much for your readership whether new or old. This has been one rough journey. Thanks for journeying with me…still. You’re amazing! Stay beautiful.
As always, thanks for reading.
Until the next post…
With light + love,
Take care.
When you think of holistic living, you may conjure up thoughts of consuming “green juice”, using herbs to heal ailments or improve nutrition, creating natural beauty products out of resources made in nature, or some form of complementary medicine such as acupuncture.
Although those things definitely fit into the scope of living holistically, they are a small part of what it means to live a holistic lifestyle.
Holistic living is a philosophy that requires an understanding that all parts of the body, or self, are interconnected and should be considered when taking care of one’s complete health and wellness.
Moreover, on a more basic and common level of understanding what it means to live holistically, it simply means living your life in balance with your mind, body, soul, (and I always like to include heart as well.)
There is no specific way to live holistically, but, one important aspect of doing so consists of living in tune with nature and using natural products, elements, and food, etc., keeping your thoughts and emotions as positively open and healthy as possible – and doing it all collectively as a way to heal or maintain health, wellness and well-being.
I hope this post gives you at least a hint or an idea of what it means to live a holistic lifestyle. Stay tuned for a few ideas on ways to live a holistic lifestyle.
Until the next post…
Thank you for reading.
Take care,
Carol
Grief really took a lot out of me. I didn’t expect it to, but it had a negative impact on my health. This was despite the fact that I did my best to eat healthy, exercise, get adequate rest and go hiking often.
To be honest, I was really taken aback and quite surprised at how draining grief can be. It’s funny how we never expect ourselves to ever experience certain things. I guess you could say that grief “caught me off guard.” I believed that I was handling my grief well, but a year later discovered that I was doing just the opposite when I had a health scare and had to go to the hospital to find out why I was having breathing and heart issues. That is when I knew that I had to make a change.
“Honor the physical temple that houses you by eating healthfully, exercising, listening to your body’s needs, and treating it with dignity and love.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer
Grief affects you emotionally, but it can also put a strain on you physiologically and physically and take a toll on your whole body. Oftentimes you’ll feel as though what you’re feeling is just basic tiredness, but for me it wasn’t just tiredness. I just wanted to feel like myself again. So, I took the leap to take my health power back (so to speak).
One way that I did just that was to begin living a holistic lifestyle that included changing the way that I eat, sleep, rest, think about myself and others, exercise, live and basically just care for my whole self.
Since I made that lifestyle change I have been able to lose weight, (without even trying to), reduce bodily aches and pains, reverse 2 chronic health conditions, gain increased energy throughout the day, manage stress better, become more calm and mindful in all aspects of my life, improve the way that my body feels and the way that I approach and think about life.
Living a holistic life is not a diet or a fad. If done, it should become a way of life if one is to reap the rewards of the benefits that it offers.
I’ll talk more about what a holistic lifestyle is this week, but I just wanted to share my “Why?” with you for now, and how excited I am about the changes that I’ve made.
I can tell you that I love that it’s not just about food, or just about exercise, or just about spirituality. What drew me to it is how this lifestyle cares for all parts of you. I also love it’s connection to living in harmony with nature. I am glad that I stumbled across this new lifestyle and I can’t wait to share more about it with you.
“Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within us is the greatest force in getting well. Our food should be our medicine, our medicine should be our food.”
– Hippocrates
Have you made any lifestyle changes lately? I would love to hear your story in the comments section below.
Or, if you’d feel more comfortable discussing privately…shoot me an email.
Happy Halloween! If you are celebrating the day, have fun and be safe.
Thanks for reading!
Until the next post…
Take care,
Carol
When I started Salubrity and Soul a year ago. I had done so to fulfill a personal promise to someone that I would go through with my (long awaited) plans to start writing again and to begin that process with a blog.
It just so happened that I ended up focusing on my experience with loss. That wasn’t my original plan though.
Growing up (which for me was many eons ago) English was my favorite subject and I, (believe it or not), used to be pretty good at writing… but as the old saying goes… “if you don’t use it you lose it.” Boy did I lose it! However, that’s not to say I won’t get it back.
That didn’t sway me from wanting to continue finding a way to bring writing back into my life either, because when you really enjoy something you tend to not just give up on it. You keep starting over until you get it going!
I didn’t start this blog with the intention of “changing someone’s life”, in fact, my hope and intention was to share my story and “if” it “could” help anyone…or “did” help anyone then “Wonderful!”
We all feel good when we are able to give back or make someone feel better right?
And that’s more than enough to make my life worthwhile. Just helping one person is enough – and like my grandfather used to tell me – a small victory is still a victory.
Because the truth is…Everyone can’t and won’t be able to do big things. Not to be a downer, but the reality is this…It’s just not in the cards for everyone or feasible. Some of us will have to make an impact in the world on a smaller (but no less influential or important scale). Otherwise we would all be super stars or become President – But then who would help us at a sales counter? Or help care for an elderly, special needs or disabled person?
Are those jobs no less important? Not at all. They’re very important.
There are many ways to make an impact in this life, because there are so many ways to help people and to be of service.
Maybe the only real concern that many might have is whether or not that impact will be noticed and revered by others, or lead to some type of fame. It’s all a matter of what we’re really seeking in the end I suppose.
All I know is (it seems) that everyone is trying to get on board the fame and noteriety train and to be honest…it can be a bit overwhelming at times.
How is everyone going to help everyone? There is just so much “help” out there. It’s enough to make your head spin. What ever happened to just sharing and leaving an impact with your words or your message?
That’s where I am now. That’s the direction that I seek to move forward in.
I appreciate my followers and readers so much and I am so grateful for your continued presence here on Salubrity and Soul and Instagram, but I am especially thankful for the ability to share our thoughts and stories together as a community. If we can make each other smile, laugh or appreciate another perspective – then GREAT!
That’s what it’s all about!
Until the next post…
Take care + Be well.
Salubrity and Soul 