You Can’t Always Get What You Want

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

Life is generally good, right? I think that most people would agree that life, even with it’s disappointments, is okay. In fact, more often than not, it can be pretty amazing.

Today might be filled with happiness, joy and excitement; while tomorrow “could” bring sadness or pain – and that’s okay. It’s okay because living isn’t about having everything work out for the best all of the time, as much as it’s about being able to make it through the rough times; and to do so with a healthy mind frame and not allowing our disappointments to define us.

We expect too much sometimes, I think. We also tend to become complacent in our ability to not let our egos get the best of us. It’s easy to believe that things will always be the way that they are – especially when things are going great. Of course, this may not be true for everyone.

Well, 2020 should have taught us a thing or two. It should have reminded us of our lack of control. The control that we tend to thing that we have, when truthfully any semblance of control that we thing we have is actually quite minor.

We should always be open to “other” possibilities. Why? Because that is what helps us transition better when thing do not go our way. At any time, even the healthiest person can suddenly become chronically ill. Or, that well-to-do friend of yours that you thought was so blessed and fortunate can suddenly lose everything. Or that job that you thought that you would retire with could suddenly go out of business.

When disappointments happen they can leave us feeling sad, angry or regretful that we couldn’t have done more to prevent whatever happened from happening. The key though is not to ruminate over disappointments when they occur. As difficult as that might be – just don’t do it. Please don’t do it, unless you’re looking for more disappointment.

We have to be willing to accept the life that we have been given, regardless of whether or not we approve of the outcome. You have to just keep moving forward.

Now, there may be disappointing situations that call for you to contest or dispute, because there are many things in life that we must fight for – but I am not talking about those type of disappointments. I am talking about the ones that we absolutely cannot control.

When life throws a little disappointment your way you don’t have to forget what happened, (you need to remember as that will be connected to your personal growth), but you do have to learn to accept life’s disappointments.

Once you learn to that, then you can conquer anything. When faced with something disappointing I like to remember the phrase “God doesn’t give us anything that we cannot handle.” It always helps me to keep things in perspective. So, if you’re experiencing something less than favorable and you feel that the sky has fallen – try remembering that phrase and see how that works for you. Also, stay strong, keep the faith and know in your heart and soul that all will be well in the end. All you have to do is learn to accept whatever is making you feel that way or, if you are able to change the situation – change it. All else is madness and who wants that?

Thank you for reading.

Until the next post.

Take care and be well.

New Year, New Outlook

New Year, New Outlook

Happy 2021! I hope you are well. My goodness! It has been a few months since my last post and I have missed Salubrity and Soul, all the tasks that come with blogging and… you! If I could have avoided my absence I surely would have done just that, please know that it was justifiable. Without over-sharing, let’s just say that I needed to take some time off to care for myself, spend time with my family and recuperate from the year that was 2020. Truthfully, my decision to take a break from Salubrity and Soul, (and other things as well), was highly influenced by my physician. I had to either eliminate or reduce anything that I was doing in my life that could induce stress or that contributed to a sedentary lifestyle. Unfortunately for me, blogging happened to be in that category. Now I am moving into the second quarter of this year cautiously, carefully, but fervently.

“A candle that has been blown out provides no light. Let selfcare be your fuel, and watch yourself glow brightly again once the flame has been re-lit.

– Salubrity + Soul

I must say, it feels good to be heading into the new year with a sense of calm, peacefulness, hope and healing.

I’ll close with a few words that reflect something that crossed my mind several times over during the last four months, which is that we always have a choice in the way that we decide to frame our personal narrative when faced with something unexpected. Moreover, we always have a choice when it comes to our view of how good or bad things really are; and whether or not we want to accept some responsibility in whatever it is that we’re experiencing.

We can grab the reigns of our life, hold on tight, and be the heroine, (or hero), but the choice is always only ours. In order to overcome anything, the decision to keep showing up over and over again is what is most important.

I want to remind anyone who may be experiencing a rough time and who may be feeling as though they need a break that it is okay to rest. It’s okay to go where you’ll find peace and the opportunity to restore your energy and health because that is exactly what you’ll need to remain in your power. Think balance. You don’t have to completely stop what you’re doing, because we should always be moving in ways that empower us in good ways, and that allow us to function and be the very best version of ourselves as much as possible – unabashedly. But, never forget to care for yourself. Nothing is more important than you. Nothing. Remember that.

Thanks for reading.

Until the next post.

Take care and be well.

Blessings.

– Carol

How Are You Doing? A Message of Hope and Solidarity.

How Are You Doing? A Message of Hope and Solidarity.

As we have all been affected in one way or another by the coronavirus, (COVID-19), as it is known as a novel disease; and as a virus by the name SARS-CoV-2 I just wanted to take a moment to check in on you and say that I hope that you are doing well. I hope that your loved ones, too, are doing well. If it happens that you are not doing well or someone that you know is not, or has not fared well as a result of of this pandemic my heart goes out to you and please know that even though you may not know it, there are people who are thinking of you and praying for you every day. I am one of those people. What we are experiencing right now is heavy to bear, but it is something that we will overcome.

I would like to remind you of the importance of being present – especially when life may seem to be unraveling at the seams. Let me share with you a quote by R. Wayne Willis, author of Hope Notes which says, “To grow some hope, take a hope-full step. That first step is the most difficult.” There are times in our lives when cultivating hope can be a hard thing do, but in reality we should never really expect it to be something that will happen overnight. Some things need time. So take it day by day if you need to. Keep the faith and know that we will all get through this together.

If there is anything even the slightest bit positive about what we are now forced to endure, it the opportunity to come together as one as we work through our concerns, fears, losses and patiently await resolve.

As always, thank you for reading.

Until the next post…

Please take care.

25 Ways to Live a Holistic Lifestyle…(With a Focus on the Mind)

25 Ways to Live a Holistic Lifestyle…(With a Focus on the Mind)

Hello everyone! Now that we know that holistic living is more a way of living than just a way to curb illness, (and involves the mind, body and soul), I would like to talk about what holistic living looks like when it solely involves caring for the mind.

A few weeks ago I watched a news program that covered a story on how the rain forest in the Amazon is in danger because of the the excessive practice of burning and clearing away of necessary plant life for commercial purposes due to some of the effects of consumerism. It was quite an interesting program.

They mentioned how that problem has an affect on animal life as well, which was kind of sad, but it really got me thinking. If you’ve ever watched a documentary or read a credible article on the Amazon, you know that it is considered to be “the lungs” of our dear planet earth. Without that critical part of our planet’s whole, who knows what the health of Earth will be like in the years to come. A simple domino effect of problems can have an adverse effect on the “whole”of just about anything. It’s no different with our “selves” .

Whenever one aspect of our health is impacted, (positively or negatively), it can affect other parts of our health, (positively or negatively), too. Our emotions can lead us to develop headaches or stomach issues; or they can have an effect on how well we recover from surgery or illness.

So as you can probably guess, working towards keeping our minds as healthy as we work towards keeping our bodies healthy is a part of living a holistic lifestyle because, again, our mind, body and soul are interconnected.

Here are a few ways that you can apply holistic health to your mind health. This list is not exhaustive, but these are a few things that I have personally learned from holistic practitioners, tried, and deem effective:

  • 1. Practice meditation daily.
  • 2. Use affirmations
  • 3. Practice yoga daily.
  • 4. Think critically about everything.
  • 5. Practice healthy optimism and positivity.
  • 6. Avoid negative thinking.
  • 7. Practice gratitude daily.
  • 8. Develop personal boundaries and avoid toxic relationships / “energy vampires”.
  • 9. Challenge yourself often and release yourself from “comfort zones”.
  • 10. Journal regularly to express and release emotions, feelings and thoughts.
  • 11. Be careful with your thoughts and the things that you allow your mind to entertain.
  • 12. Develop a strategy, such as using a mantra, to redirect your mind from any triggers that might lead to negative thought patterns.
  • 13. Get out into nature and go for a walk to help clear your mind and strengthen mental well being.
  • 14. Try learning new things – often.
  • 15. Give your brains periods of rest by practicing mindfulness, meditation or listening to music.
  • 16. Don’t let your ego take over your being.
  • 17. Practice deep breathing or Pranayama .
  • 18. Practice “Earthing” .
  • 19. Give yourself natural vitamin D by practicing healthy sun gazing.
  • 20. Maintain only those relationships and friendships that foster positive mental health – and that feel good.
  • 21. Try a little aromatherapy every now and then.
  • 22. Detach from social media and technology regularly.
  • 23. Separate your personal life from your work life,
  • 24. Practice minimalism.
  • 25. Create a sacred space in your home – a special place where you can go to for solace and quiet time to find peace from the busyness of daily life.

I hope that this list helps you as much as it has helped me, and if you have any tips of your own with ideas on how to live holistically, (with a focus on the mind), I would love to hear them, so please feel free to share in the comments section below.

Thank you for reading.

Until the next post…

With light and love,

Take care.

Welcome 2020!

Hello friends! Well, we’ve officially entered a new decade…and a new year! Happy New Year!

I have not posted in while because I decided to spend time with and focus solely on family this past holiday season. So, since I wasn’t able to wish you a Merry Christmas, I’ll do so now… Merry (belated) Christmas to you and yours! I hope that you had a wonderful holiday season!

We are 6 days into the new year and I have to say…I feel a slight sense of relief that the holidays have ended. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the holidays, but there has to be at least one person reading this that can agree with me that the holidays, as great as they can be, can also be very, very tiresome. So, it feels quite good to feel a bit of relief from all of the excitement that comes with that time of the year. Now we just have 11 more months to go until we get to create more special memories with those we hold dear once again. That is always definitely something to look forward to. Those cherished moments are the best!

Many of us are returning to work and/or school this week as we ease back into our schedules and personal versions of “the familiar” and the “the everyday.” I for one am looking forward to “getting back into the groove of things”.

2019 was a transformative year for me personally and for Salubrity and Soul. With my having begun a new wellness journey, and the rebranding of Salubrity and Soul, I am very excited about the road ahead!

So stay tuned if you’d like to see what I’ve been up to over the last several months because over the next few weeks I will be picking up where I left off, and delving deeper into the process of sharing my discoveries through a series of daily, weekly and monthly posts.

Before I end this post I have to inform you that there are no words that can fully express the gratitude that I feel towards you- my followers- thank you so much for your readership whether new or old. This has been one rough journey. Thanks for journeying with me…still. You’re amazing! Stay beautiful.

As always, thanks for reading.

Until the next post…

With light + love,

Take care.

Why I Began Living a Holistic Lifestyle

Why I Began Living a Holistic Lifestyle

Grief really took a lot out of me. I didn’t expect it to, but it had a negative impact on my health. This was despite the fact that I did my best to eat healthy, exercise, get adequate rest and go hiking often.

To be honest, I was really taken aback and quite surprised at how draining grief can be. It’s funny how we never expect ourselves to ever experience certain things. I guess you could say that grief “caught me off guard.” I believed that I was handling my grief well, but a year later discovered that I was doing just the opposite when I had a health scare and had to go to the hospital to find out why I was having breathing and heart issues. That is when I knew that I had to make a change.

“Honor the physical temple that houses you by eating healthfully, exercising, listening to your body’s needs, and treating it with dignity and love.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer

Grief affects you emotionally, but it can also put a strain on you physiologically and physically and take a toll on your whole body. Oftentimes you’ll feel as though what you’re feeling is just basic tiredness, but for me it wasn’t just tiredness. I just wanted to feel like myself again. So, I took the leap to take my health power back (so to speak).

One way that I did just that was to begin living a holistic lifestyle that included changing the way that I eat, sleep, rest, think about myself and others, exercise, live and basically just care for my whole self.

Since I made that lifestyle change I have been able to lose weight, (without even trying to), reduce bodily aches and pains, reverse 2 chronic health conditions, gain increased energy throughout the day, manage stress better, become more calm and mindful in all aspects of my life, improve the way that my body feels and the way that I approach and think about life.

Living a holistic life is not a diet or a fad. If done, it should become a way of life if one is to reap the rewards of the benefits that it offers.

I’ll talk more about what a holistic lifestyle is this week, but I just wanted to share my “Why?” with you for now, and how excited I am about the changes that I’ve made.

I can tell you that I love that it’s not just about food, or just about exercise, or just about spirituality. What drew me to it is how this lifestyle cares for all parts of you. I also love it’s connection to living in harmony with nature. I am glad that I stumbled across this new lifestyle and I can’t wait to share more about it with you.

“Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within us is the greatest force in getting well. Our food should be our medicine, our medicine should be our food.”

– Hippocrates

Have you made any lifestyle changes lately? I would love to hear your story in the comments section below.

Or, if you’d feel more comfortable discussing privately…shoot me an email.

Happy Halloween! If you are celebrating the day, have fun and be safe.

Thanks for reading!

Until the next post…

Take care,

Carol

Change is Life

Change is Life

Happy Well-being Wednesday! I would like to talk about change. Change being a means of making something different from what it originally was. Change being an alteration that turns something into something else. Change is hard, but what I’ve noticed is that it is very necessary if you want to grow – that is.

Well, change is what Salubrity and Soul has in store for the upcoming new year. Yes, again. I am discovering that healing may cause you to change more than once, and that’s okay.

“The only thing that is constant is change.”

– Heraclitus

Change is all around me. It’s in this glorius season that we call “fall”, but apart from seasonal change, I am also in the midst of, yet another, metamorphosis as I embrace my new self as a result of overcoming situations that have eclipsed my life for the past 2 years and; as I become friends with acceptance.

With this change I feel that it’s time to modify the content being shared here on Salubrity and Soul so that it better compliments and resembles my current interests, lifestyle and well…self. If you’re wondering what to expect, you can find out more about Salubrity and Soul’s changes on the about page.

There is a quote by Brene Brown that truly resonates with how I currently feel, it says, “I only share when I have no unmet needs that I am trying to fill. I firmly believe that being vulnerable with a larger audience is only a good idea if the healing is tied to the sharing, not to the expectations that I might have for the response that I get.” – (pretty profound, huh?)

I feel that I have expressed how I felt about my loss clearly enough. I also feel that continuing to share my feelings regarding my loss would be inappropriate. Not because I no longer feel my loss, because I do. Every single day. I have just reached a point where I feel that sharing suggestions, tips and ideas on how to get through grief and loss instead of my personal story of loss would be a better way to support my fellow bereaved. I am grateful to have had a lot of support during my time of bereavement thank you to everyone who held on with me as I rode the waves of grief – I cannot express enough how grateful I am to you. I could not have done it without you. You are amazing!

Change is hard, but with a little patience and support it becomes a lot easier. I hope that you’ll continue to stick around – whether you’ve been following for a while, or are a new reader. From now on I will be sharing more on my new lifestyle changes… changes that have helped me improve my health and wellbeing. Join me, won’t you? Let’s live better together!

Until the next post…

Take care,

Carol

Affirmations

Affirmations

Have you ever tried using affirmations as a means of self-help or self-improvement?

An affirmation is a positive statement that is repeated or written until it is believed to have manifested. They are quite helpful in decreasing negative thoughts, and every time that an affirmation is recited it helps to strengthen positive thinking.

My first experience with affirmations was less than favorable to say the least. In fact, the first time that I tried them I was instantly unimpressed and convinced that they were ineffective.

It seems I somehow formed the conclusion that they were just some type of “woo-woo” new age thing that didn’t offer any real inspiration or serve a viable purpose, (not that there is anything wrong with new age concepts…) I am not judging here. At that time it just felt wrong.

I remember I didn’t like the way that saying them made me feel when I recited them. They always left me feeling as though I was sad, incomplete and somewhat pitiful. Which was quite the opposite of how they were supposed to make me feel. Affirmations are supposed to leave you with a sense of empowerment. Why wasn’t I feeling empowered?

I later learned that affirmations, just like anything else that is created for the purpose of self-development and personal growth, work best “if” the person is ready, willing and open to receiving what the self-help task being performed is attempting to help you accomplish. I think sometimes when it comes to self-help activities we often expect them to work in an instant – like magic – at least that was the belief that I had at that time in my life. That is often not the case though. It took me a long time to realize that. Now I say say affirmations daily and I appreciate the gift of mental and spiritual inspiration that they give me each day.

What I like the most about affirmations, is that they work very similarly to gratitude in that they are personal, and they remind you of the positive life affirming aspects of your life. Every affirmation, once spoken, wraps you in your own personal strength and power; and prepares you for a day in which you will be prepared to take on any obstacle. To me, they are like daily “mental rainbows’ that provide you with little shots of extra resilience while also filling your heart with self-compassion and joy.

An affirmation as simple as “I am feeling stronger today” can help provide you with that little bit of encouragement needed to perhaps… get out of bed and face the day ahead when you are in a bereaved state; or experiencing some other type of loss.

In addition, reciting an affirmation such as ” I am feeling stronger today” is considered to be a better affirmation to use than something very simplistic like: “I am strong” because it is more reality based, a little more in-depth and considered to be easier to accept – and therefore apply. This works well for me, but feel free to try this for yourself to see if it works for you.

Other examples would include the following:

  • Using the affirmation statement “I will be kind to myself today and apply patience through all things that I encounter, ” instead of using a statement such as “I have an abundance of patience.”
  • “It is okay for me to laugh sometimes because laugher is a soul’s expression of joy. Appropriate laughter helps me breathe positive energy into the universe”, Instead of ” I will remember to laugh to foster a sense of joy.”
  • “I am present in my life and open to receiving love and support and good energy from others”, instead of ” I am open to socializing, and trying new things.”
  • “I trust that my ability to create a new story, (or add to the one I already have), is strong when things go wrong in my life, and I repel all doubt of my ability to do so”, instead of ” I can and will beat any adversity.”

A few ways that affirmations are useful include the following:

  • They help you draw on your ability to be open and receive positive energy from source or the universe.
  • They allow you to focus on applying courage because instead of denouncing your fears, they help you climb over them.
  • They help you apply patience, because they help you remain honest about your abilities and intentions.
  • They help with resilience because they make it easier to keep showing up during tough times.
  • They help you maintain your sense of humor and your ability to smile, laugh, not take life too seriously.

If you haven’t already done so, try creating your own daily affirmations, or if you’ve tried and had a bad first experience like I did, why not give it another try and see if it adds value to your life this time around. You’ve got nothing to lose, only something to (hopefully) gain. I wish you luck. Love and light to you.

Thank you for reading!

Until the next post…

Take care + be well.

Contentment

Contentment

Hello and Happy September! In my last post I made a reference about how it is impossible for everyone to do something big or great. Well, I received a little feedback from some of my readers regarding that post and how it appears to denote a defeatist tone and may come off as uninspiring.

Before I go on, I would like to first apologize to anyone who may have found the content in that post offensive or otherwise. Secondly, I would like to say that I can see how the perspective in that post may have seemed counterproductive with regard to maintaining a postive outlook on life, or how it may have come of as being pessimistic. However, that is not the kind of message that I was trying to convey.

“Having compassion starts and ends with having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourselves.” – Pema Chodron

The main focus on that post was actually about practicing self-compassion, acceptance and more important…contentment. It was not intented, in any way, to share any likeness with self-pity or lacking.

It came from a place of understanding that is more modest than egocentric.

It also came from a place that engenders a less acquisitive perspective towards the achievement of goals and aspirations; while still celebrating one’s achievements, goals and aspirations…whatever those achievements goals and aspirations may be.

“I only seem negative to the fortunate. That is because I show the less fortunate that they aren’t less fortunate after all.” – Criss Jami

In short, that blog post was meant to inspire, encourage – but most of all empower. It was created to support those who may need to feel good about the way that they are choosing to show up and contribute to society, especially if to them – it may not seem like it is “enough”.

It’s no secret that some of us will become very well known and some of us will not. Most of us will not. Some of us will earn PhD’s and some of us will not. Some of us will form corporations. Some of us will not. Then there is the consideration of whether or not we actually want to take on a bigger responsibility and role. Sometimes it’s hard to understand and accept that others aren’t interested in the same things that we are interested in; and that doesn’t mean that something is wrong with them. We forget that as connected as we are, we still, as a society value individuality. It’s our differences that make us beautiful and more important…interesting. Just strive every day to be good at what it is that you do!

It doesn’t matter what you choose to do, or how you choose to do it. The only thing that really matters is that you are trying to do something good – and that you’re not causing anyone any harm while doing so. If you are bringing something good into this universe of ours, then you are doing plenty! No matter how big or small. Besides… I am sure we can all agree that doing something is better than not doing anything at all when it comes to trying to make the world a better place… A more interesting and special place. Love and light to you!

Thanks for reading!

Until the next post…

Take care + be well.

What I learned about resilience from hiking in the desert

What I learned about resilience from hiking in the desert

I am always looking for ways to find similarities between life and nature whenever I am out hiking, taking nature photos or just out and about walking my dog.

One thing that I, and other outdoor enthusiasts, can probably agree on is that nature has this glorious way of teaching us about ourselves and life.

The only difference will likely be in perspective and opinion as everyone tends to see different things — and in different places — sometimes where others may not see anything at all…. such is the remarkableness of storytelling! Such is the splendor of our natural world.

When hiking a trail every landscape, for me, seems to have a plethora of lessons. Lessons that may or may not always be immediately noticeable. Sometimes a lesson will catch you off guard right after you just turned a corner or reached a phenomenal trail peak; and at other times it is found in a sunrise or sunset, a wild creature that has just crossed your path, or something as simple as the shape, texture or color of a plant, tree or rock.

The amount of inspiration is, in my opinion, limitless and I would like to share a few of the lessons that I have learned from the natural landscape of the Joshua Tree National Park desert with you on this Wellness Wednesday.

  • Life is hard, but regardless of the conditions and situations you may be faced to live with, you can survive them. [It is possible to survive just about anything]
  • Even though the conditions and situations may seem desolate, every now and then, (usually when you least expect it), a little bit of hope and possibility will rain down on you and give you just the break that you may need to make it to the end of your trail. [With or without hope… with a little patience good things will happen]
  • The rain is necessary! That is…if you want to be able to truly enjoy the full range of the beauty of the desert. [Balance is the key to joy and well-being]
  • Sometimes it will be the trail that you least expected to inspire you that you end up gaining the most from – so try not to pre-judge or worry about the trail that you are on. [Life is always full of surprises – if you’re open to receiving them]
  • Although the flora and fauna residing within the desert may seem strong, (because they have had to endure so much harsh weather), they are actually some of the most delicate, beautiful and treasured items and should be respected and handled with great care. [Strength can be found in many places and expressed in a variety of ways – not in just the most obvious things]
  • Every trip through the desert should be carefully thought out. [Acknowledge what you must face and face it best by preparing for the unexpected – because there is a good chance of something happening that will be unexpected- safety first…always and in all things.]
  • Stunning and amazing thing will spring up from the most unexpected spaces. [Life is full of surprises…Always be prepared for a plot twist]
  • You may have to carry heavy loads through rocky terrain and challenging elevations until you reach the top of the mountain or complete that strenuous trail; but every step you take is one step closer to removing the weight from your back and delighting in pure refreshment. [Allow yourself to be transformed by things that you may find difficult to manage because there will be a reward of some kind waiting for you at the end.]
  • You can journey through the desert trails alone and make it through, but that journey is often more interesting and special with a friend by your side to share it with. [Sometimes a little support can help ease your journey and make the time go by a lot faster.]
  • Just when you thing that you have had enough of the desert, something special will happen to change your mind and you will realize that your pilgrimage through the vast unknown was a gift from above; that is when you will feel as though there is no place that you would rather be. [Accepting all facets of life allows you to remain open to continually finding gratitude and joy!]

Thank you for reading.

Until the next post…

Take care + be well.