Welcome 2020!

Hello friends! Well, we’ve officially entered a new decade…and a new year! Happy New Year!

I have not posted in while because I decided to spend time with and focus solely on family this past holiday season. So, since I wasn’t able to wish you a Merry Christmas, I’ll do so now… Merry (belated) Christmas to you and yours! I hope that you had a wonderful holiday season!

We are 6 days into the new year and I have to say…I feel a slight sense of relief that the holidays have ended. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the holidays, but there has to be at least one person reading this that can agree with me that the holidays, as great as they can be, can also be very, very tiresome. So, it feels quite good to feel a bit of relief from all of the excitement that comes with that time of the year. Now we just have 11 more months to go until we get to create more special memories with those we hold dear once again. That is always definitely something to look forward to. Those cherished moments are the best!

Many of us are returning to work and/or school this week as we ease back into our schedules and personal versions of “the familiar” and the “the everyday.” I for one am looking forward to “getting back into the groove of things”.

2019 was a transformative year for me personally and for Salubrity and Soul. With my having begun a new wellness journey, and the rebranding of Salubrity and Soul, I am very excited about the road ahead!

So stay tuned if you’d like to see what I’ve been up to over the last several months because over the next few weeks I will be picking up where I left off, and delving deeper into the process of sharing my discoveries through a series of daily, weekly and monthly posts.

Before I end this post I have to inform you that there are no words that can fully express the gratitude that I feel towards you- my followers- thank you so much for your readership whether new or old. This has been one rough journey. Thanks for journeying with me…still. You’re amazing! Stay beautiful.

As always, thanks for reading.

Until the next post…

With light + love,

Take care.

Contentment

Contentment

Hello and Happy September! In my last post I made a reference about how it is impossible for everyone to do something big or great. Well, I received a little feedback from some of my readers regarding that post and how it appears to denote a defeatist tone and may come off as uninspiring.

Before I go on, I would like to first apologize to anyone who may have found the content in that post offensive or otherwise. Secondly, I would like to say that I can see how the perspective in that post may have seemed counterproductive with regard to maintaining a postive outlook on life, or how it may have come of as being pessimistic. However, that is not the kind of message that I was trying to convey.

“Having compassion starts and ends with having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourselves.” – Pema Chodron

The main focus on that post was actually about practicing self-compassion, acceptance and more important…contentment. It was not intented, in any way, to share any likeness with self-pity or lacking.

It came from a place of understanding that is more modest than egocentric.

It also came from a place that engenders a less acquisitive perspective towards the achievement of goals and aspirations; while still celebrating one’s achievements, goals and aspirations…whatever those achievements goals and aspirations may be.

“I only seem negative to the fortunate. That is because I show the less fortunate that they aren’t less fortunate after all.” – Criss Jami

In short, that blog post was meant to inspire, encourage – but most of all empower. It was created to support those who may need to feel good about the way that they are choosing to show up and contribute to society, especially if to them – it may not seem like it is “enough”.

It’s no secret that some of us will become very well known and some of us will not. Most of us will not. Some of us will earn PhD’s and some of us will not. Some of us will form corporations. Some of us will not. Then there is the consideration of whether or not we actually want to take on a bigger responsibility and role. Sometimes it’s hard to understand and accept that others aren’t interested in the same things that we are interested in; and that doesn’t mean that something is wrong with them. We forget that as connected as we are, we still, as a society value individuality. It’s our differences that make us beautiful and more important…interesting. Just strive every day to be good at what it is that you do!

It doesn’t matter what you choose to do, or how you choose to do it. The only thing that really matters is that you are trying to do something good – and that you’re not causing anyone any harm while doing so. If you are bringing something good into this universe of ours, then you are doing plenty! No matter how big or small. Besides… I am sure we can all agree that doing something is better than not doing anything at all when it comes to trying to make the world a better place… A more interesting and special place. Love and light to you!

Thanks for reading!

Until the next post…

Take care + be well.

Feeling A Sense of Freedom

When I started Salubrity and Soul a year ago. I had done so to fulfill a personal promise to someone that I would go through with my (long awaited) plans to start writing again and to begin that process with a blog.

It just so happened that I ended up focusing on my experience with loss. That wasn’t my original plan though.

Growing up (which for me was many eons ago) English was my favorite subject and I, (believe it or not), used to be pretty good at writing… but as the old saying goes… “if you don’t use it you lose it.” Boy did I lose it! However, that’s not to say I won’t get it back.

That didn’t sway me from wanting to continue finding a way to bring writing back into my life either, because when you really enjoy something you tend to not just give up on it. You keep starting over until you get it going!

I didn’t start this blog with the intention of “changing someone’s life”, in fact, my hope and intention was to share my story and “if” it “could” help anyone…or “did” help anyone then “Wonderful!”

We all feel good when we are able to give back or make someone feel better right?

And that’s more than enough to make my life worthwhile. Just helping one person is enough – and like my grandfather used to tell me – a small victory is still a victory.

Because the truth is…Everyone can’t and won’t be able to do big things. Not to be a downer, but the reality is this…It’s just not in the cards for everyone or feasible. Some of us will have to make an impact in the world on a smaller (but no less influential or important scale). Otherwise we would all be super stars or become President – But then who would help us at a sales counter? Or help care for an elderly, special needs or disabled person?

Are those jobs no less important? Not at all. They’re very important.

There are many ways to make an impact in this life, because there are so many ways to help people and to be of service.

Maybe the only real concern that many might have is whether or not that impact will be noticed and revered by others, or lead to some type of fame. It’s all a matter of what we’re really seeking in the end I suppose.

All I know is (it seems) that everyone is trying to get on board the fame and noteriety train and to be honest…it can be a bit overwhelming at times.

How is everyone going to help everyone? There is just so much “help” out there. It’s enough to make your head spin. What ever happened to just sharing and leaving an impact with your words or your message?

That’s where I am now. That’s the direction that I seek to move forward in.

I appreciate my followers and readers so much and I am so grateful for your continued presence here on Salubrity and Soul and Instagram, but I am especially thankful for the ability to share our thoughts and stories together as a community. If we can make each other smile, laugh or appreciate another perspective – then GREAT!

That’s what it’s all about!

Until the next post…

Take care + Be well.

Just Be Thankful.

Just Be Thankful.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

– Melody Beattie

As the month of November comes to an end I begin to sense the spirit of gratitude slowly fade away. The “month of gratitude” may be over, but I do not plan to stop practicing gratitude thereafter. My gratitude practice is a lifestyle. A lifestyle that makes every day of my life a magical and wonderful journey of discovery and appreciation. Even in the midst of grief and profound loss.

Until the next post.

Blessings,

Take care + be well,

Carol xo

Feeling is Living

Feeling is Living

“Don’t numb yourself any further with busyness or forced happiness.  Feel what is bothering you so that you can learn to adjust to the change instead of pretending that it doesn’t exist.” – Carol C.M.

Balanced Healing

Balanced Healing

 

“The waves ebb and the waves flow, and yet I never tire of watching from the shore, the way the waves rhythms show their intensity, then inactivity; as if to remind me of what I already know in my heart and in my soul, which is that to life there must be balance, and happiness is empty if sadness we must forego.”

– Carol C.M.

Until the next post.

Blessings,

Take Care + Be Well,

Carol xo

Love’s Burden

Love’s Burden

“Your burden is already so heavy, so be light with yourself. Look at the way you take the pain from your heartache and allow it to sustain you through the rough waves of mourning – Never once forgetting that your reason for enduring it all was and will always be love.”

– Carol C.M.

Until the next post.

Blessings,

Take Care + Be Well,

Carol xo

A Little Bit of Nature Helps

A Little Bit of Nature Helps

Neither of us knew how to explain exactly how we felt, but… Last year as summer began to come to an end, the last thing that my husband and I wanted to hear was anything that had to do with going out to “do something.”  As far as we were concerned, we were doing something…something called trying to process what happened and trying to heal.  Was that not enough?  Even after all that we had just been through?  Celebrating, exercising, or vacationing was not something that we were interested in making a priority at the time.
It took us nearly 3 months to feel even the slightest bit comfortable going out to do anything; and once we were finally ready, we decided that a simple hike would be a great way to relive some stress and get our endorphins going again.  That trip turned out to be one of the best decisions that we ever made.
Well, it’s that time of year again, and this week we got the same little “itch” that provoked us last year to get out – not to do anything “fancy” – but to just go somewhere where there was peacefulness. Somewhere where we could just go and reconnect with nature ( and ourselves) and contemplate the meaning of life yet again.
When you are immersed in nature and enjoying all of it’s beauty, it helps you remember that there is still so much outside of ourselves, our jobs, and our homes to be thankful for.  You begin to realize that even through difficult times life is still amazing. Furthermore, it gives a boost to your immune system and the change of scenery can help brighten your outlook and change any negative perspectives that you may be holding. Personally, I don’t think that there is a better natural mood booster than spending time outdoors, getting lots of fresh air and taking in the sights and sounds of our beautiful planet.
Not to get off topic but let me revert back to the issue of celebrating while grieving for a moment…We found ourselves feeling a little guilty for going out after having turned down invitations from a few family and friends. It makes you feel really bad, but in all honesty it was better being truthful about how we felt instead of being more concerned with what everyone would think, only because it would be devastating to attend an event that could likely be a trigger for our grief. More important we would never want to ruin anyone’s celebration with our sadness. It just didn’t seem worth it and we figured that it would be best if we didn’t attend anything until we were completely prepared to be good company. The right time, unfortunately, was not a couple of months after our loss. We were confident that anyone who had invited us to their event during that time would understand…and  gratefully they did.  More often than not your family and friends will understand – especially if they have witnessed your pain.  Just be sure to let them know that you will do your best to join them the next time; and if possible it couldn’t hurt to send a small gift to remind them that you do care about them as well.
The important thing to take away from this is to not focus on what you are not yet able to to do while healing from your loss. It is more helpful to stay focused on what you can do now.  Just do  whatever you can do to motivate yourself to get out and back into your life – enjoying your life, and if you can’t seem to get out at least make sure that you are doing something positive for your mental and physical well-being. Doing something is always better than doing nothing in this case and if you have to take baby steps to get back to your normal self that is completely acceptable. 
Until the next post.

Blessings,
Take care + Be well,
Carol xo 

Staying Strong After Loss

Staying Strong After Loss

When we experience loss we tend to become internally disoriented. That internal disorientation comes to us in the form of sadness + anger + misery + regret + trepidation + (because we’re often hoping that the person that we lost could come back…) wishfulness.

We’re often affected physically as well, which is where those things like losing your appetite (or having it increase ), being unable to sleep or feel rested, and having an overall sense of discomfort + uneasiness takes over. I’ve learned that these are all normal responses to the process of grieving.

Having to bear the weight of, (what at the time seems like), almost unimaginable tasks such as adjusting to a new relationship with with the person that you have lost + trying to fully understand the loss + trying to develop a whole new way of being in the world after the loss adds to the burden and oftentimes we are not prepared to manage all that has been placed before us.

Yet, finding a way, (or ways), to adjust to our loss can help keep the pain from consuming us.

Learning to adjust is necessary because life is going to keep revolving around you – and if you don’t find a way return to life you are going to have a very hard time with those internal and physical symptoms – making it much more difficult to heal and live your life.

Some of the things that have helped me return to myself include:

• Showing myself a little compassion by resting when I felt as though I needed to…and not feeling guilty about doing so.

• Asking for (or accepting) help from others when I needed it. This helped me feel less overwhelmed, but it also gave others the opportunity to feel good about helping someone through a rough time. It’s so important to not push these “beautiful” people away.

• Trying to laugh again without feeling as though I was dishonoring my lost loved one. Remembering that he wanted (wants) me to be happy. This helped me remember to keep looking for the joy in life and to not take it too seriously…to always remain open.

• Giving my loss meaning by focusing less on the fact that my loved one is no longer here…and more on how he positively impacted my life + that of others + keeping his legacy of loving life alive.

• I am a nature lover so getting out and enjoying the sights + sounds of nature was a given for me while on my healing journey. There are so many lessons in nature that can help with trying to understand + learning to appreciate loss of life. Nature tends to offer a neverending abundance of beautiful comparisons.

This list of mine is not exhaustive and as always we all have different methods that we can apply. These are a few that helped me through the early days when I was days + weeks into my loss. Please feel free to try any of them for yourself and if you do – let me know how it worked for you.

Until the next post.


Blessings,

Take care + Be well, 

Carol xo