Healing – Page 2 – Salubrity and Soul

Bereavement, empowerment, encouragement, featured, Inspiration, Life, New Beginnings, Personal Development, Personal Growth, soul, soulwork, Uncategorized, Wellbeing, Wellness

Breaking Away

February 15, 2019May 1, 2019by Carol MurphyLeave a Comment

I have a confession to make. I jumped the gun. About a month ago, I became so overwhelmed, (or should I say that I allowed myself to become so overwhelmed), that I almost gave up. I almost gave up on Salubrity and Soul. Yes, that would have been a terrible thing to do! Especially since (as anyone who has followed my story knows), I waited so long to start it. But, what’s even worse than that is I kept feeling that I would be letting not only myself down, but my son down as well.

So instead of giving up, I decided to just take a nice long break and get back to everything once I feel better prepared to add blogging; and all of the added social connecting that comes with it.

I wrote about “unplugging” once before in my blog post 10 Things A Digital Detox Can Do For You”, but for some reason this time I needed more than a little digital detox. I was burned out and needed something a little more serious. What I needed was a sabbatical – a blogger’s sabbatical. Which is not a real term to my knowledge, but I think it has a nice little ring to it – don’t you?

“Rest is not idle, is not wasteful. Sometimes rest is the most productive thing you can do for body and soul.”
– Erica Layne

I cannot deny that the holidays, memorial event planning, awareness projects, work, overcoming the surprises acknowledged after finally gaining closure after losing my son over a year ago and an unexpected health concern all took a huge toll on me. The writing was on the wall and all I had to do was make a decision. Was I going to try to control and conceal it? Or was I going to take my well-being into my own hands and handle it in a healthy way? The healthy route, obviously, attracted me more.

“Self-care isn’t always manicures, bubble baths & eating healthy food. Sometimes it’s forcing yourself to get out of bed take a shower and participate in life again.”
– Meredith Marple

I knew that there was really only one thing to do, which was to bring everything that I was doing to a grinding halt, and just immerse myself in a sea of self-care. What’s more healthy and wellness minded than that? To notice the signs of burnout and potential additional bereavement issues and then heed to them. To care for yourself when you need to.

There is no shame felt here. Just gratitude and grace. There is no guilt here either. Just a sizable amount of self-love and a sense of contentment. Knowing that in all of my struggles suffering and vulnerability, I still have the faith and courage to keep moving forward – even if that also means that I have to slow down a little bit as well.

On the humorous side, one great thing about this “sabbatical” is that I didn’t have to obtain permission to take it. My only requirement was to seek inspiration, offer myself patience with regard to writing, and to rest and take really good care of myself. Which I did by doing a lot of meditating, a lot of healing baths, nature walking, journaling and changing some of my eating habits.

“Be you, love you, All ways, always.”
Alexandra Elle

While the payoff for taking this “sabbatical” is that I have been able to apply greater focus on enhancing my skills and creativity, assess my needs for engagement and productivity; but in a much less frantic manner. That is a complete win-win in my eyes.

Taking a break isn’t a weakness. Neither is taking as many breaks as you need – especially when you are in the process of healing. It may be the only thing standing between your failure and your success; and at least a break will energize you a little better than any attempt to just continue pushing on through.

Until the next post,

Blessings,

Take Care + Be Well.

Carol

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Food + Family + Friendship and The Ties That Bind

January 9, 2019February 15, 2019by Carol MurphyLeave a Comment

Have you ever noticed how meals, when shared with others, can make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside and create a sense of community? Throughout our human history sharing meals is one thing that has always brought people together. Over the holidays I was reminded of how it is one thing that has also always sustained us through good and bad times alike.

It doesn’t matter what the occasion is, or what food is being served; there is something special about “breaking bread” with others and sharing a moment of gratitude for just being able to have such a moment in our lives – all while satiating and nourishing our bodies, (and minds), as is the case with delicious food that either reminds us of good times with those we have lost; or stirs and excites the senses as we share thoughts, smiles and laughter at the dinner table.

Although a good meal sustains us by providing us with the vitamins and minerals that our bodies need, you have to admit that we also, generally, have a love of how a simple taste or smell can bring a great big smile to our faces; or even take us back down memory lane – and if you love to cook like I do – then I’ll bet that you, too, have also had the pleasure of watching someone’s face light up from a meal that you cooked. These are smiles created by meals that were made with full hearts and love; and sometimes those smiles are created by the connection created from just being a part of something that warms the heart. A meaningful togetherness. What a truly beautiful aspect of life that is.

Until the next post.

Blessings,

Take Care + Be Well,

Carol xo

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The Last Mercury Retrograde of 2018

December 6, 2018February 18, 2019by Carol MurphyLeave a Comment

Greetings everyone! Today is the last Mercury Retrograde of 2018. If you are familiar with astrology or the metaphysical side of spirituality then you are probably familiar with the term Mercury Retrograde. If you are not familiar with this phenomenon, it is a planetary event that takes place 3, (sometimes 4), times a year in which the planet Mercury appears to travel in a backwards motion when viewed from earth. It has been determined, though, that it is not actually traveling backward but is just moving very slowly which gives the illusion that it is moving backward. Scientifically, this process is known as apparent retrograde motion.

Mercury Retrograde dates for 2018 were
March 23rd – April 15th (In Aries)
July 26th – August 19th (In Leo + Scorpio)
November 17 – December 6th (In Sagittarius + Scorpio)

It’s About Communication

How all of this relates to this planetary event is that since the planet Mercury is associated with communication, whenever mercury goes retrograde it tends to wreak havoc by causing errors in all forms of communication and it can also affect human behavior, cause delays, issues and problems. The types of communication that can be affected include, but are not limited to:

Speaking + listening
Reading + learning
Editing + researching
Selling + buying

With this in mind, as you might guess, whenever this event occurs the likelihood that you may be misunderstood, get into an argument with someone, misinterpret things, not pay good attention to things or make mistakes is high. A few other things to be wary of are:

Starting anything new
Merchandise purchases
Agreements + contract signings
Dating + relationships
Having surgery
Mailing important documents
Equipment breakdowns
Travel issues
Sudden + unexpected change of plans
Email + social media mishaps
Losing things + forgetfulness
Etc…You get the picture don’t you?

Pseudoscience?

Is this just pseudoscience? Maybe… but for anyone who has experienced the results of mercury retrograde or believes in the influence of planetary alignments it is an actuality. Mercury is not the only planet that “retrogrades’, but it is the most popular type of planetary retrograde event.

Not So Bad…

Whenever mercury goes retrograde it is a good idea to pay close attention to the possibility that problems may arise and trouble may ensue. So, it is probably best to steer clear of agreeing to anything or making any important life changing plans until mercury retrograde has ended. There are some people who consider mercury retrograde somewhat ominous, but there are many others who choose not to view it in that way and see this event as a time of opportunity.

The good thing about mercury retrograde is that we can prepare for it and work around it or decide to carry out an action at a later date – Thankfully.

A key thing to remember about mercury retrograde is that it always involves another sign and the element associated with that other sign. What does that mean? Well, if mercury is in an earth sign at the time that it retrogrades any problems can usually be eased by applying a bit of practicality instead of wishful or hopeful thinking. If in an air sign analyzing and careful thought or discussion can be helpful. If in a water sign it’s all about using your intuition, and if mercury is in a fire sign, the best thing you can do is use your creativity and be daring and bold in your approach to attempting to fix any retrograde related problems.

This current and last mercury retrograde was actually the first time, (that I really noticed it having an effect on me and my life. Initially, I had not even considered that all of my recent miscommunication issues and delays were because of mercury retrograde. Yet, when they kept happening over and over again that is when I began to get a little concerned – and then earlier this week it hit me… Of course! Why had I not thought of this sooner? It was just a little planetary interference.

As you can see, mercury retrograde is not all doom and gloom. It is a time to:

slow down a bit and set or reassess any intentions, priorities and goals.
Tune into your intuition.
Change any bad habits that you may have.
Set new personal affirmations.
Express your creative side.

Goodbye For Now

It will be a while before the next mercury retrograde event:

The Mercury Retrograde dates for 2019 are:
March 5th – 28th (In Pisces)
July 7th – 31st (In Leo + Cancer)
October 31st – November 20th (In Scorpio)

So, smile! If this is something that you follow and believe in then there is plenty of time to prepare for any commotion that the next events may cause you. Now we can all focus a little more on holiday meal planning, gift giving, thinking of new ways to remember and honor lost loved ones and all of the cheerful loveliness of the holiday season – for me – that is a gift in itself (thank you for that experience mercury retrograde) and what a great way to welcome the Christmas season and ring in 2019!

Until the next post

Blessings!

Take care + be well,

Carol

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Eating Healthy While Grieving

December 3, 2018December 3, 2018by Carol MurphyLeave a Comment

One of the things that happens to the bereaved right after losing someone is that we tend to seek out things that will help us fill our recent void. Our bodies begin to crave more rest, and a host of other things – one being great tasting foods. Grief often tends to cause our appetites to change; and while some will experience a loss of appetite, others may experience an increase in appetite as the need to gravitate towards foods that elicit a dopamine release from the brain cause us to feel all warm and fuzzy inside and completely comforted. This is all due to the stress that comes with grief, and just as with any other form of stress we may know of our own “go-to” foods that we find personally healing. In fact we can all probably conjure in our minds right this very moment, (I am sure), a dish or recipe that we know has the power to make us instantly happier at any given moment. For me it’s my Mom’s curried chicken recipe or just about anything with, garbanzo beans, dark leafy greens, avocado or Italian. Those foods always go straight to my soul and make everything better.

But, back to how grief either increases or decreases our appetite. In the days weeks and first few months after losing my son, I lost my appetite which resulted in my losing 12 lbs. Food was the farthest thing from my mind and I remember every time that I did eat, regardless of whether or not it was breakfast, lunch or dinner, I felt as though I was forcing myself to eat. I was forcing myself to eat, because I knew that eating something was the only way that I was going to have any energy to keep running back and forth to the hospital, plan a funeral service and take care of all of the lose ends and important tasks that must be taken care of after someone passes away.

Even though my appetite was not there I knew that I had to eat in order to stay somewhat healthy. Sadly, though, I found myself in a bit of a fast food whirlwind grabbing unhealthy, easy, non-nutritious foods to sustain myself which as you probably already guessed, left me feeling even more depleted.

Something had to change and I needed to find a way to get back to normalcy and start eating healthy again. So, I began by gradually increasing the days that I would cook healthy meals at home instead of eating out or grabbing fast food. Starting with two days a week at first, and eventually leading to making healthy home cooked meals 6 days a week – it took me 4 months to return to my usual healthy eating schedule.

One thing that made it easy to do was to cook in bulk so that we would have leftovers available, (either from the previous day or frozen), if something came up and I was unable to cook one day. Another trick that I used was to pre-make healthy juices, smoothies, vegetable and fruit plates, soups and salads and I kept them at hand so they were easy to grab from the refrigerator for a quick snack or lunch.

It is not uncommon for the grieved to receive food from friends and family after the funeral has passed, and this practice can be such a wonderful blessing when you are too emotionally and physically and weary to cook anything. I can’t stress enough how much helping the grieved in this way can mean the world anyone who has just lost someone. However, that is not something that we can rely on for the long haul.

Therefore, having and idea of how to implement a healthy meal plan and and what to include can be invaluable not just to the bereaved while adjusting to a new way of being, but it could also be helpful to anyone who might be feeling overworked, over stressed, just plain tired or for any reason.

During the spring and summer months we will usually feel satiated after eating just about anything light, but for a lot of people there is something about fall and winter that moves us toward craving comfort foods such as stews, hearty soups and casseroles. There is something about the cooler months that have us reaching for foods that warm our bodies as well as our hearts. The good thing is this, we don’t always have to abstain from enjoying those delicious comfort foods.

For example, one way to still eat them and avoid adding extra pounds, or eating unhealthy, is to change a recipe so that it becomes healthier, but still tastes great. This is what I did with my lasagne recipe when I stopped making it with meat and all of the extra, delicious, but unnecessary cheese. It is absolutely scrumptious! I will post a recipe for that lasagne this week in what will be Salubrity and Soul’s new recipe section, and it will also be posted on the Salubrity and Soul Instagram account.

If you have found yourself in the same unhealthy conundrum and feel the need to eat healthier after loss or just prefer eating a decent home meal try:

Asking friends and family for help with obtaining home cooked meals.
Creating your own home cooked meals by making larger amounts of precooked meals and either freezing them for later, or to enjoy as leftovers during the week.
Avoid fast-food by buying pre-packaged meals. Many of which can are now vegan, vegetarian, low-sodium or gluten free.
Make homemade soups, stews and casseroles in a crock pot or instant pot to save time and your energy.
Order food from a good restaurant instead of grabbing unhealthy fast food and have it delivered.

As you can see, there are several things that you can do to help ensure that you are eating as healthy as possible while dealing with loss, and I will have more tips and tricks for maintain your health while grieving in the coming weeks.

Until the next post,

Take care + be well,

Carol

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Attachment…I think I’ll Stick With It

November 9, 2018February 18, 2019by Carol Murphy2 Comments

“They say that people are innately afraid of those who need them, they say that people are afraid of “clingyness”, afraid of attachment, afraid of being needed by another. But I beg to disagree. I believe that people when looking at someone who is needy of them, see themselves and see their own fears and they go away because they can’t handle those fears; it’s their own neediness that they’re afraid of! They’re afraid to want and to need because they’re afraid of loss and of losing, so when they see these things in another, that’s when they run away. Nobody is actually running away from other people; everybody is really running away from themselves!” – C. Joybell C.

The term attachment has been getting a lot of attention these days. I cannot recall exactly how many social media posts I have encountered that have stressed the new found acceptance for becoming detached to everything and everyone as a way of avoiding the chance of getting hurt or having to go through the terrible emotions that generally come over us when we lose something or someone.

“The beautiful thing about fear is, when you run to it, it runs away.”

– Robin Sharma

I get it. I understand how the emotionality that correlates with losing something that we like or love can hamper our ability to maintain our focus to get things done, and who wants to be in that type of predicament? When we slow down we are less productive, which in turn, often also means that we will be less accepted.

“Maybe life is about learning a better goodbye. Learning to let go of the one’s we love with nothing but love.” – JM Storm

The thing to remember is that attachment is in all of us. It is a part of us and a very human primal need. Without it, there is the potential to suffer worse than we would had we just succumbed to the attachment. To not want to bond well with something is probably okay; but to not want to bond well or genuinely connect with others is – well – a bit disturbing.

“And – was it really love if you didn’t feel that loss to the very core of your soul?” – Carol C.M.

Fear can protect us, but it can also cause us harm. There is a lot in life that we are not able to run away from, and should not run from if we want to truly experience life. I, for one, can honestly say that my acceptance of being attached to things has brought me as much happiness as it has brought me pain. My greatest lessons in life are those that were born out of immense love, my ability to accept moments of vulnerability, deep interest, passion and ultimately the loss of something or someone whether a relationship, parenthood, or an occupation or something else. I have loved and lost, but I have grown so much and that is what life is all about. Isn’t it? So be grateful for those moments that you realize that you have become attached to something, not fearful because that is just one more place where the beauty of life can be found. Leading you to a most substantial existence and life experience.

Until the next post

If you enjoyed this post or found it helpful please feel free to share it – and as always…

Blessings,

Take care + be well,

Carol xo

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The Reminder

October 31, 2018February 15, 2019by Carol Murphy4 Comments

“This year will be better than last year.

This month will be better than last month.

Today will be better than yesterday.

Look for the signs.

Keep the faith and just keep showing up.”

– Carol C.M.

Until the next post.

Blessings,

Take care + be well,

Carol xo

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Can You Imagine?

October 25, 2018February 15, 2019by Carol Murphy6 Comments

Can you imagine,

waking up to the light of day

and feeling as though you have nothing to say?

Can you imagine,

walking past the same room

that you’ve passed every day,

that room that you’d stop by

for a while just to say “hey!” ?

Can you imagine,

looking inside that now empty room

as you struggle to accept that everything has changed?

Can you imagine,

each morning – whispering “hello”

to a part of you, a remnant,

who was called to go

far away to another space

where serving a higher purpose

could now take place?

Can you imagine,

for a minute, closing your eyes

to once again see

that smile that would bring comfort

and make joy materialize?

Can you imagine,

the numbness felt each night

as you pass that room again

and once more recall

that nothing is “right”?

Can you imagine,

having the worst happen to you,

yet you still feel grace

because your faith is true?

Can you imagine feeling grateful,

because you raised someone special

and that love for your child is eternal

and what helps get you through?

Can you imagine?

Can you?

By Carol C.M.

Until the next post.

Blessings,

Take Care + Be Well,

Carol xo

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Feeling is Living

October 13, 2018November 17, 2018by Carol MurphyLeave a Comment

“Don’t numb yourself any further with busyness or forced happiness. Feel what is bothering you so that you can learn to adjust to the change instead of pretending that it doesn’t exist.” – Carol C.M.

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How I Fell in Love with Hiking

October 10, 2018February 18, 2019by Carol Murphy4 Comments

My first hiking trip was taken on a whim. It was an idea that arose from a discussion between my husband and myself regarding what we should do for our upcoming Anniversary. My husband can be quite accommodating when it comes to letting me chose a locale for a trip or a night out, but the idea that I had in my mind at that time was one that I wasn’t sure that he would be willing to agree to. Yet, much to my delight, he agreed, albeit his agreement was not without some hesitation.

I wanted to visit the desert for a considerably long time. It’s a landscape that I am often drawn to and have always had a fascination with. Although I would have also loved another quintessential night on the town, complete with a delectable dinner at a lavish restaurant, that option could not contend with a trip to the desert. More specifically, a trip to Joshua Tree National Park or the Mojave Desert – Not this time. I guess you could say that the desert was calling me and I could not say no.

After further discussion about our choices, my husband expressed that his less than enthusiastic response to my request, (at first), was because of his disinterest in desert landscapes. This just happened to also be when I learned that he’s more of a forest kind of guy. We laughed at a few of his jokes about there being absolutely nothing in the desert to do or see and I begged to differ. He acquiesced, I smiled and then we proceeded to make our trip reservations for Joshua Tree National Park.

I think people thought that we must have lost our minds when we told them what we planned to do for our Anniversary that year, and maybe for a second, we too, began wondering whether we were making the right decision. Who wants to jeopardize spoiling their Anniversary? We had never been hiking before. Nor had we ever done anything outdoorsy for any special occasion, so this was something that was unusual, but I really wanted to do something different and my husband agreed that maybe it was time for us to start trying things that were different. We were definitely up to the challenge and looking forward to discovering what the desert had to offer. Little did we know at the time that we had just made one of the best decisions that we have ever made during our many years together as a married couple.

We conducted a bit of research on the park and learned that Joshua Tree National Park is considered to be a highly spiritual place. We were skeptical, but still very curious to know if this held any truth. That element alone played a big part in making this trip exciting.

We went during the spring, so the weather was hot, being that it was the desert, but it was also moderate and not as hot as it would have been had we went during the summer. This made for a comfortable visit. Going during the springtime also made the desert seem more like a desert oasis because we got to see a lot of wildflowers, the bright colors of the flowers on the cacti and the landscape was a lot more verdant that we expected due to the previous season’s rains. My husband was surprised to see that it did not seem like the typical desert he had in his mind and I was amazed at how beautiful everything was. It could not have been more perfect.

The first trail that we ventured to was the Split Rock Loop Trail. I was in awe of the rock climbers and we were both so fascinated with their skill and bravado that we had to stop and watch them for a while. Moments later we decided to try the 2 mile loop trail there which was very invigorating. That was the moment that we began feeling like we were suddenly hikers.

Next we visited two popular spots known as Skull Rock and Elephant Rock. Skull Rock is exactly what it sounds like. The trails here are relatively easy to hike, but they are filled with large boulder like rocks that we spent a lot of time climbing to the top of to enjoy the many gorgeous views of this area, especially during a sunrise or sunset. These became one of our favorite spots and we revisited this area several times that weekend. Not just because of the views and attractions, but it was one area that we felt the most spiritual energy. The energy here was magical.

I love nature, so I had to stop at the Arch Rock Nature Trail. This trail has one of the most unique rock formations in the park. The namesake Arch Rock is a slab of rock shaped like an arch or a bridge. This is also another popular spot in the park and is often quite crowded most of the time. We weren’t able to get a good view of Arch Rock during that visit but we did get to enjoy the other sights of other odd rock formations as well as the .5 mile hiking trail.

The last trail that we ventured through was the Cap Rock Trail. This was a short .4 mile trail loop with extensive views of Joshua Trees. It was quite picturesque during the twilight time during the spring, and it presented us with more stunning views of wildlife and wildflowers.

As you can see, we chose to hike short, easy trails during our first hiking trip. We did this because of our inexperience and because we wanted to take it easy until we were able to learn more about hiking and hiking safety. Initially, we had the impression that hiking is very much like walking, but it isn’t. Especially when you are exposed to the elements and wildlife that you would not ordinarily be exposed to on an average walk. We also, at the time, were not prepared with enough supplies should we had made the mistake of wandering too far out into the desert and lost our way back to where our car was parked. That would have been devastating, not to mention irresponsible on our part. Safety is key when hiking.

Still, that trip back in 2016 inspired us so much that hiking has become a favorite pastime for us. It is a way that we’re able to spend quality time together and stay healthy as we grow old together. It has also been a very helpful outlet for us during our bereavement, so we are both very glad that we took on this hobby before losing our son.

What I love the most about hiking is the way that it makes me feel. I love how it centers me. I love the way that it reminds me of how connected we all are to everything. It is exercise for the mind, body, heart and soul. It’s also the only exercise that I can think of that is mentally, spiritually, visually, audibly and kinesthetically stimulating while also being relaxing at the same time. If you’re looking for a way to stay healthy that doesn’t feel completely like exercise and that allows you to also enjoy all the beauty of nature and life, I recommend that you try hiking. Get out in the open, enjoy the fresh air and discover all the ways that this form of adventure can excite and inspire you.

Until the next post.

Blessings,

Take Care + Be Well,

Carol xo

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Balanced Healing

October 9, 2018February 15, 2019by Carol Murphy2 Comments

“The waves ebb and the waves flow, and yet I never tire of watching from the shore, the way the waves rhythms show their intensity, then inactivity; as if to remind me of what I already know in my heart and in my soul, which is that to life there must be balance, and happiness is empty if sadness we must forego.”
– Carol C.M.

Until the next post.

Blessings,

Take Care + Be Well,

Carol xo